No Quarter
by KellethMetheus
Summary: Darkness with no sanctuary. This story has taken a very different tone than when I began. This story is now all written.
1. Chapter 1

Title: **No****Quarter**  
Author: KellethMetheus

Rating: Older teens  
Category: Gen, Mystery, Whomp not just sure what else.  
Summary: Darkness with no sanctuary.  
Disclaimer: Not mine and I'll put them back when the Muse runs out, maybe.  
Warnings: none

Beta thanks to purpleshrub

~0oOo0~

Climbing up from the black void, all I feel is agonizing pain. It's there even before I open my eyes. My arm is stretched out above my head and I bring it in closer to my body, hoping to stop the shivering, only to feel a rush of pins and needles. I welcome the new pain because I know it will be gone soon. I'm lying on the cold floor and I wonder if that's why I'm shivering but something tells me there's another reason.

I try to look around but my left eye doesn't open. I reach up to touch it and the skin feels swollen and puffy. The slight pressure of my fingers causes the cut beneath my eye to sting as it begins to bleed once more; I can feel the blood trickling down my cheek.

Next I remember my name; Major Samantha Carter, US Air Force. Where am I? What happened to me? Why am I here?

My surroundings come into focus and I have no idea where I am or how I got here. The walls look like the dull grey concrete of the SGC. In front of me is a cot and I see the stamp on the blanket, further confirming this is the SGC. But why am I in a holding cell? What have I done?

I search but find no memories of the past few hours. The last thing I remember is going to bed last night then...nothing.

Rolling over tells me about a host of other bruises and cuts that mar my body. I try to remember, and this time I get a scattering of images, but they're all fuzzy and confusing. Nothing makes sense. I see a blur of hallway, I'm fighting to get away, to go up... then darkness.

Turning my head, I see someone standing on the other side plexiglass window. Anticipating more pain I raise my head and see him. The Colonel... Jack.

He stands on the other side of the window, talking to an SF, shaking his head and making cutting motions with his hands. The SF leaves and we are alone. As though he senses I'm awake, he turns toward me, his expression hard and unyielding.

I draw a sharp breath as our gazes meet. I have never seen him this angry and somehow I know I'm the cause. My mind fights once more to remember, but I have no idea what I've done. Wearily, I close my eye, trying to stop the tears that pool there. I can't show any weakness, not now, not ever.

Turning over again I struggle to get to my feet. I need to talk to him. He must know what happened to me. Pain rushes through me, and I bite my lip, closing my eye until the worst of it passes.

I reach the window and bang on it with my fists, demanding to know what is going on, but Jack seems to stare right through me and I back away slowly as Jack begins to change.

On the other side of the glass stands a black-haired woman. For just a moment her green eyes show compassion; but it's gone as she nods speaking to some unseen person beside her.

Suddenly, ghosts surround me like silent sentinels. Their red eyes burn into me as one steps forward, his flesh molten and decaying. He raises his hand toward me and I remember; they've been haunting me for the last few hours, following my every move. Closing my eyes I see them other places following me, and then I remember waking up here before.

Why is this happening to me an I losing my mind. I open my eyes and I hope that I'll wake up from this nightmare. The world around me blurs and Jack is back and the woman is gone.

He's just standing there watching, doing nothing as I try and make sense of my world turned upside down. I want him to help, to make it stop but one of the dead step forward reaching for me.

My legs don't hold me and I collapse. I scramble backwards on all fours away from the specter, screaming. I hit the wall and there is nowhere else to go, no sanctuary. They all turn and come after me, their empty eyes staring at me.

I press myself tightly as I can against the wall, making myself as small as possible. I cover my ears and continue to scream, hoping the noise will drive the ghosts away.

It doesn't work; they grab my arms, holding me down. I hear whistling, the same three notes over and over again. Then I feel a pinch in my arm and they are gone.

Instantly, I stop screaming. Looking around I try to remember what frightened me as everything goes numb and I feel like I'm floating.

I still can feel them still staring, but I no longer care. The whole world has a hazy quality.

Across the room behind the glass, I could hear voices talking and it's about me. General Hammond and Teal'c have arrived. "I'm not saying it is anyone on your team, Jack. I'm saying someone at the SGC is compromised. Someone did this to her; we need to find out what happened."

I look up at the small group and see Janet as well, but it is Jack who speaks. "It happened again just a few moments ago, Doc. She just went crazy. What the hell is happening to her? Earlier when we tried to subdue her, she was vicious. It took four SFs to bring her down. They actually look worse than she does."

"I don't know, Colonel," Janet tells them. "The toxicology on the drug is alien. I have never seen anything like it. The thing is she hasn't been off world in a week; someone had to have given it to her here on Earth."

"How much longer until it wears off and we can talk to her?" Jack asks.

"I don't know, you just saw what happened to her. This episode seemed to be shorter than the last one, but I don't know what that means. We'll just wait a few more hours and see what happens," Janet explains.

"Is she going to remember what she saw or who did this to her?" Jack asked. "Do you think she'll be able to help us with the investigation?"

Janet shook her head and looked over at me. "Colonel, I don't know if she will want to; there are some things that shouldn't be remembered. I mean you saw her. Whatever those hallucinations are they terrify her."

Curling up into a ball I try to find some warmth as I give into the tears and cry myself to sleep, hoping when I wake up this is all a dream.

~0oOo0~

_I __watch __O__'__Neill__, __my __friend __and __leader__, __strong __as __any __Jaffa __I __have __known__, __stand __at __the __window __long __after __everyone __else __is __gone__. __I __can __tell __he __thinks __this __is __his __fault __that__; __he __gave __the __orders __and __Samantha __followed __them__. _

_He __sighs __deeply __as __I __step __closer__, __and __lay __my __hand __upon __his __shoulder__. "__SamanthaCarter __is __strong __and __she __will __get __through __this__. __You __have __taught __her __well__."_

_O__'__Neill __turns __toward __me__, __but __he __doesn__'__t __speak __until __he __looks __back __through __the __window__. "__I __didn__'__t __teach __her __how __to __get __through __something __like __this__, __you __can__'__t__. __You__'__ll __just __have __to __wait __and __see __who __comes __out __the __other __side__."_

_"__Have __faith__, __O__'__Neill__. __She __will __come __back __to __us__."_

_Then __as __I __turn __to __leave __I __see __him __close __his __eyes __and __I __a__m __sure __he __is __praying__. __I __can __only __hope __that __someone __is __listening __and __Samantha __will __be __all__right__._


	2. Chapter 2

**Title****:** No Quarter 2/?  
**Author****:** KellethMetheus  
**Spoilers****:** none

**Rating****:** PG

**Category****:** Gen, Mystery, Whomp not just sure what else.  
**Summary****:** Darkness with no sanctuary.  
**Disclaimer**: Not mine and I'll put them back when the Muse runs out, maybe.  
**Warnings****:** none

Beta thanks to purpleshrub

~0oOo0~

_A __few __hours __earlier__..._

Crowded corridors don't usually bother me, but today everyone seems to be walking impossibly slow. The harsh florescent lights on the dull grey walls make my headache flare up from a dull ache into a piercing pain. I try to sidestep around a group of chatty airmen, but at the last moment one drifts in front of me, and I have to stop suddenly.

Scowling at the curly black hair covering her back, I bite my tongue to stop the words threatening to flow out of my mouth. Stepping around her, I pick up my pace to make up for lost time. I'm nearly to the briefing room when someone bumps into me, knocking me off step.

A dark rage flows over me; I throw him off, snarling, "Watch where you're going!" And I shove him into the wall hard before stalking off. Yet as quickly as it came my anger dissipates, and I walk away trying to figure out what happened and why. The airman had just bumped into me, no harm done. Finally, I shake it off and continued to the briefing room, the incident forgotten.

A few moments later, I rush into the room and fall into a chair beside Jack; he arches an eyebrow at my lateness, but I ignore him.

Daniel is already presenting his report on PXY-something or other. I try hard to listen but only bits and piece filter through. "Perfectly preserved library" "a chance to understand" "We'll learn a lot from…." Although I try, I just can't bring myself to care what he's talking about.

Jack clears his throat and everything stops. I can feel all the eyes in the room on me. Turning my head, I look at Jack, unsure what's going on. He nods to my hand. It takes me a few moments to realize I'm tapping my pencil. Smiling sheepishly, I mumble an apology as I put down the offending object feeling self conscious. I nod for Daniel to continue.

There's another moment of silence before Daniel starts again. I labor to make myself pay attention, but I find my gaze drifting to Jack's profile. Turing away I don't allow myself to linger there, it's too dangerous.

Moving on I find myself studying Teal'c. How does he find the strength to go on? He has lost so much, but lurking under that shell is an optimist. Could I really be like that after going through the same things? He lost not only his wife but the girl he'd loved from his youth and his home. I can't help but want to be like him. I'm moving on to study General Hammond when I see the first ghost.

It stands right there behind the General. I can see pieces of the skull and brain where the head had been smashed right above the eye. Most of his beard had been sheered away by the impact against the iris, in its hand is a bible. It stares right at me; red eyes full of hate.

I can't stop his name from falling off my lips, "Jonas Hanson," as I jerk my gaze away and then turn back, to find it gone.

Sighing, I wonder what's wrong with me? Scratching my arm, I struggle to figure out a way to get to the itch in the middle of my back. It's then I become aware of the end of Daniel's lecture.

"Major Carter, are you all right?" General Hammond asks kindly, but there's a thread of annoyance in his voice.

I fight to stay still as a spot on my back gets itchier. Did I look all right? "Yes, sir, I'm just peachy. I'm tired. I work hard to get my job done and I should be allowed to be a little-." I stop as I realize my words are edging toward insubordination.

The General's eyes go wide, but he says nothing for a moment. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off then. You've been working hard this past week, if the walls and benches of your lab are any indication. You're not scheduled to leave until tomorrow morning, so get some rest." He swivels his chair to look at the rest of the team. "All of you have a little bit of downtime until tomorrow morning at 0800." Looking back at me, he points his finger. "That means you're to leave the base, Major Carter. That's an order." His voice is soft but it carries the weight authority.

I open my mouth to argue when I see Jonas Hanson's rotting form standing right beside me and his fingers reach out to brush my cheek. I scramble away from him knocking over my chair as I stifle a scream.

Jonas Hanson follows me moving silently across the room, this time Martouf and Elliot are at his side. All specters point accusing fingers at me. I'm able to hold myself together until Lantash slithers out of Elliot's mouth leaping at me.

This time I can't to stop the scream. I shove an empty chair in their direction and run, all the while still screaming.

~0oOo0~

_I __hate __what __I __had __to __do __but __it __was __for __both __of __us__. __Now __I __just __have __to __wait __and __watch__. __When __the __time __comes __I__'__ll __get __her __out __of __here__._

"_How __is __the __project __progressing__? __Has __she __revealed __the __location __of __the __device __yet__?"_

"_She __was __resistant __to __the __drug __at __first __but __now __she __is __fully __addicted__. __I __have __stopped __the __doses __and __she__'__s __deep __in __the __withdrawals __now__. __We __should __have __the __information __you __want __soon__."_

_I __flinch __as __he __seizes __my __throat __in __a __crushing __grip__. "__Make __sure __she __doesn__'__t __die__. __We __need __that __information __and __only __she __can __provide __it__, __unless __you __know __something__."_

_Ashamed __at __the __fear __in __my __voice__, __I __explain__, "__I __will __over see __Carter __personally __and __keep __an __eye __on __her__. __She __will __live __long __enough __to __tell __you what __you __need __to __know __and __then__...?" __I __shrug__. _

_His __grip __loosened __slightly __and __I __breathe __deeply __as __he __speaks__. "__Fine__, __now __return __to __your __tasks__."_

_He __releases __me __and __I __fall __to __my __knees__. "__This __is __the __end__, __my __debt __to __you __is __paid __after __this__. __I __infiltrated __the __SGC __and __I __will __get __you __the __information __you __seek__. __Carter __will __break__, __just __give __it __a __few __more __days__."_

_He __sneers __at __me__. "__You __debt __will __be __paid __only __when__, __I __say __it __is__."_

_I __want __to __protest __but __I __know __when __I__'__m __beaten__. __I __bite __my __tongue__, __and __dart __away __into __the __night __knowing __that __time __is __running __out __for __the __both __of __us__._

* * *

I have two more chapters of this story posted on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile(I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **This story is all done. I don't post until they are done... most of the time. Thank you for all my reviewers you made my day. Any guesses who the italic voices are, they change with every chapter. I've tried to make it guessable if you listen to how they talk.

**No ****Quarter**** 3/13**

~0oOo0~

This time I can't stifle my scream. I push my chair at the specters hoping to give myself more time to escape as I bolt...

My breath comes in short gasps as my body seems to be shutting down and I stumble. The halls are a blur as I run through them. My stomach rolls as I fight the urge to vomit. The itches have turned to prickles.

The corridors are silent and empty and I walk through them loosing my way. Confused I turn, trying to get my bearings, but nothing looks familiar.

Where is everyone? They were all in the briefing room with me, but no one is here to help me; I am alone. I stop and stare. The halls should be full of soldiers and other people that can help, but they're empty. Even the dead are gone. I can hear my team's voices but I'm lost and alone. I slump to the ground exhausted.

"Samantha, stay there. I know you don't understand but you must trust me."

Gentle hands brush the hair from my face and offer me water, which I gulp thirstily. "Who are you?"

Ignoring my question the dark haired woman takes the canteen, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "Can you get up?" She helps me to my feet and we start down the hall. "Let's get out of here."

I recognize the voice, relived I allow her to lead me down the hall.

"Samantha, you need to fight this. We don' t have much time."

There is a noise from somewhere and she jumps, looking over her shoulder. "I'm sorry, it's too late. They can't find us together. I'll be back as soon as I can. Oh Sam, this is my fault."

Then she is gone, disappeared into thin air.

Backing away, I look around. Where did she go? Confused, only one thought rushes though my mind: I need to escape. I need to run!

I moved forward but I hit a wall, backing up I try to retrace my steps only to find another wall in my path. I'm cornered with nowhere to go. I begin beating the walls with my fists.

"Please let me out. What have I done? Please let me go!"

Drawing a ragged breath, I try to gather the threads of control as they continue to unravel.

Someone grabs me from behind. I could feel a cold lifeless hands around my waist. The cold burns through my clothes and I begin to shiver uncontrollably.

Still fighting, I get my first look at my captor. Jonas Hanson restrains me as I thrash, kick, and claw. I can't let them take me, I have to get away from them. There has to be somewhere I'm safe. I have to live... I'm not ready to join them, to die.

I plead with him, "Please let me go. I never meant for you to die. It wasn't my fault, please!"

But he doesn't let go, and so I fight. My nails bite into the thing's flesh. He slaps me across the face. "Tell me where it is! You took it and now I want it. Thieves and liars don't last long in my hands."

Panic surges through me as I claw at his eyes, screaming. "Leave me alone! Please, just leave me alone! I don't know what you want. " I hate the pleading tone of my voice, but I don't seem to have control of my emotions. I feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, but I don't stop to wipe them away. They blur my vision and I stumble, falling to me knees. My breath is coming out in harsh gasps. I try to slow my breathing, but I'm so close to the edge I feel the ground crumbling beneath my feet.

Then suddenly I'm pulled down the hall. We enter a room and they slam me into a chair. Wrenching my arms back to prevent my nails from making contact, but I kick with my feet catching someone in the knee. I hear an unearthly shriek of pain.

Jonas Hanson curses me as he reaches out to grab me again, but momentarily he changes. He's another man, who I know but can't place. He grabs a chunk of my hair pulling my face close to his. "You will tell me or die."

Howling in pain I continued to fight. He tries to hold me, but I sink my teeth into his hand. In retaliation his fist shoots out and catches me in the eye.

I see a chance to escape. Lifting my knee I catch him in the groin and he lets go howling in pain. As soon as I'm free, I bolt.

Stumbling as I rounded a corner, I connected with the edge of the door, cutting my cheek, but I ignored the pain and the blood as I keep running.

Behind me there's the thudding of feet as the numbers of specters increase as they pursue me relentlessly. Another one makes a grab for me, but I dodge it. I have to get away, to find safety.

My foggy mind tells me to get out of the mountain. I manage to break free of the ghosts and head up the nearest set of stairs. I taking them two at a time, each step bringing me closer to safety and freedom.

On the landing, they're waiting for me. The four ghosts subdue me. Although I try to fight, they are too strong, and there's no escape. They overpower me and hold me down, their dead eyes unforgiving. The coldness once again seeps into me and I begin to shiver uncontrollably.

I close my eyes hoping to shut them out, but they are still there, staring at me through my eyelids.

Making one last bid for freedom, I bolt. But the hands stop me, throwing me to the ground. I employ all the tricks I've learn over the years, but there are too many of them. I continue fighting as they carry me away.

Jonas Hanson, who stands to the side watching, speaks; but it's Jack's voice I hear. "Take her to holding, it's closer than the infirmary. If we take her that far she might get away again and there's not time for a gurney. Doc Fraiser doesn't think it's safe to sedate her since we don't know what caused this. Just put her in the nearest cell. The doc should be waiting there to take Carter's blood. Once that's done, we'll leave her alone."

The ghosts carry me into the cell but I know I can't be locked up. I have to escape, to get away. They keep asking me questions. Demanding to know where it is? I can't answer, to do so would hurt too many others. So I resist. Once I'm no longer of use to them they will kill my for what I've done to them-

The four ghosts drop me in the cell as I continue to scream hysterically over and over to be let go. My words flow into one another and I can barely understand myself.

To my left I heard Janet's voice, but when I turn, Janet was once again a specter like the others, dead red eyes staring at me. The specter speaks softly to me as she approaches me with a needle. I continued to thrash and fight but the strong arms hold me down.

The specter's words are still deceptively kind right until she stabs me with the needle. The whole time I fight until my head strikes the pavement and the shelter of darkness engulfs me.

* * *

_How __can __she __ever __forgive __me __after __what __I __have __done__? __She __trusted __me __and __I __have __not __only __betrayed __Sam __but __I __have __failed __her __as __well__. __I __watch __her __slip __away __and __I __can __only __hate __myself more__._

_No __matter __how __strong __she __is__, __everyone __breaks __given __enough __torture __and __pain__. __I __have __to__get__her __out __of __here__, __no __matter __what __it __costs __me__, __even __my __life__._

* * *

I have two more chapters of this story posted on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile(I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: This one is short I know but I may be persuaded to post again this week if enough of you ask nicely. :0) Anyone want to take a guess who Sam keeps seeing and why? Oh and I'm going to make sure I post the right chapter this time.

Thanks to purpleshrub as always for the great beta.

~0oOo0~

Chapter 4

A rough hand shakes me awake, and I force my eyes open. Rolling over, I see Janet crouching beside my cot.

When I don't respond immediately, she shakes me again, this time harder. Her voice is low and raspy as she looks back over her shoulder. "Samantha, we have to get you out of here now! They're going to hurt you if I don't get you."

Sitting up, I try to make sense of her words. My body still aches but I force myself to sit up. "What-" I stop speaking, vomiting over the side of the bed. It's mostly just dry heaving. Finally it ends and I wipe my mouth with the back of hand, wishing for a drink of water.

With surprising strength, she hauls me to my feet and starts across the floor. "Samantha, we don't have much time! I have to get you out."

Janet keeps changing into the curly haired woman. Feeling confused I stop, looking down at my bare feet, and my mind runs off on that tangent. Why take my boots and socks? Did they think I was a suicide risk? I rub my arms shivering. Something is very wrong.

"What happened to my boots? When did they take them?"

Her voice is impatient. "When you went all wonko, Sam. Put these on." She drops a pair of boots next to my feet. "There isn't a lot of time. Come on."

This time I don't resist and allow her to lead me though the open cell door. As we crossed the threshold I hear those three notes again and Janet falls unconscious to the floor. Once again, she changes momentarily to the airman, but this time she's wearing form-fitting black leather.

Jack stands in the doorway holding the zat, whistling those three notes. "Come on Cater. It's time."

I move toward her, curious, but Jack catches my arm with a smug smile on his face. "Not now Carter."

As we walk past the unconscious woman is Janet once more. My head starts to throb as the world spins out of control. "What 's happening to me?"

Jack grabs me and pulls me down the hall. "Come with me, I need you to explain a few things." He shakes me lightly. "You need to tell me where it is. They want it."

I frown, trying to process what he said. After a moment I step away from him. "What are you talking about?"

Jack shakes his head. "Come with me. It's time to go." He takes my hand and pulls me down the hallway.

As we sneak through the strangely empty corridors, I realize in place of his usual BDUs, he's wearing jeans and a navy windbreaker. He doesn't exactly blend in.

Needing answers, I stop. "Where are we going, exactly?"

"Away, it's not safe for you anymore," is all he says.

I open my mouth to ask more questions but he shoots a look, causing me to swallow my words. I shiver. Following him down the hall, I hope the feeling in the pit of my stomach is wrong.

Jack lifts his zat before slipping out onto the landing. After a moment, he waves me forward. We take the stairs two at a time. Moving out into the hallway alone, Jack makes sure the coast was clear.

I try to follow but there is a slight prick in my arm like a needle.

At the last minute I hear two men talking. "Who was she talking to? No one was there."

"I don't have a clue. She's flying so high right now I don't want to see what happens when she hits bottom in a few days. That's why they are moving her tonight." Then I hear two off-key notes of whistling.

The world begins to fade. I call out to Jack as he steps out of the shadows but he doesn't hear me and I am helpless as they drag me away into the darkness.

* * *

_My __eyes __close__; __this __is __killing __me__. __She __has __to __be __al__right__, __it __takes __a __lot __to __knock __Sam __Carter __down __and __keep __her __there__. __I __have __to __believe __and __hang __on __to __hope __that __she__'__s __al__right__._

_This __was __why __I __resisted __being __made __a __General__. __Once __I __sat __down __behind __a __desk __I __couldn__'__t __be __out __there __protecting __my __team __any __longer__, __I __have __to __trust that I gave them the skills they need to__get __them __back __home__. __Carter __will __come __back __if __she__'__s __alive__, __but __I __can__'__t __let __my __mind __think __that __way__._

_I __whisper__, "__Carter__, __come __back __to __us__."_

* * *

I have two more chapters of this story posted on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile(I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: **I'm going on vacation for three weeks and I don't know if or when I'll be able to post. So I'm posting today and on Thursday, the day before I leave to make up for the possible skipped weeks. Some of you have mentioned that you are confused, and I would like to say I'm sorry but I'm not. You are supposed to be confused because Sam herself is confused, and you as the reader only know what she knows. In the next couple of chapters what is happening will become clear or you can jump over to my website and read the next two chapters and things will become a little more clear.

Thank you as always to purpleshrub.

**No****Quarter**** 5  
**

I bolt upright with a scream dying on my lips, strange disjoined images running through my mind. The dark-haired woman pointing a zat at me, a man with short dark hair and a goatee linked to his mustache congratulating her as he kisses her, a field of strange plants burning behind them with three moons hanging in the sky.

I can still feel the heat from the fire. Slowly, the terror subsides but it still clings to my skin. I rub my arms hoping to dispel the unease surrounding me. The one thought is back, pounding over and over in my mind; I have to leave this place, it isn't safe here.

But where is here? I look around and find myself in a motel room, a dingy one at that. How did I get here? Am I still a prisoner?

On the other side of the room I see Jack. He's snoring lightly in a chair against the wall by the door. The neon light from outside blinks off. For a few moments the room is black, and when it comes back on, Jack is gone, replaced by another man! I crawl backwards on the bed in surprise.

He's dressed in a grey uniform that I don't recognize. Cautiously, I slide off the bed, moving carefully towards him.

I close my eyes tightly, hoping that it's still the drugs coursing through my system. Slowly, I open them and Jack is back, slumped over in the chair, snoring again.

Titling my head, I study him. No matter what my eyes tell me, I suddenly know it isn't Jack. There's no doubt in my mind I'm right. All the little things I have ignored no longer seemed so minor. The fact that he'd called me Sam, the navy windbreaker, not Jack's customary leather jacket, and the fact his pants were over his boots and not rolled up.

The Jack O'Neill I know is a very light sleeper. There's no way he would have slept through my screams. Also in all the years I had known him, Jack has never snored, ever.

The light goes off once more and the other man is back. Off again and Jack's back. Suddenly it's clear to me, my brain is trying to telling me what it can't quite voice. It's been trying to tell me the man isn't Jack, but then who is he? What on earth's going on here?

I search the room for anything I can use as a weapon. Immediately, I find the knife, gun, and zat, which the man had stupidly left on the table before he went to sleep. I pick them up and walk over to the bed. Using the zat I shoot him once. Lightning crisscrosses his body as it jerks and then he's unconscious. Pulling the sheets off my bed, I cut them into strips and tie him up.

Straightening, I look around the room wondering what I should do now. All my instincts are telling me to run, to get out of here and get out, but I stamp them down. I need to know more about what's going on. Who is this man? What do these people want with me?

Quickly, I begin to gather the things I'll need. I tuck the gun and zat into my waistband and stash the knife into my boot.

Turning slowly, I scan the room. What do I need to get out of here? A car and money for gas. That means I need his keys and cash, if he has any. Having more of a plan clears my mind; I move closer to the unconscious man. Hesitantly, I reach out grabbing his jeacket off the floor and rifle through his pockets, finding his keys and wallet in his discarded pants.

Inside is an ID for a Bozin, no other name, no address or a hint of who he's working for. I empty it of cash, tucking all of it into my pocket with the keys and toss the useless wallet aside.

Sighing, I look down at the man. He's the only one can answer those questions. I have to wait until he wakes up. Moving around the room once more I check to make sure I haven't missed anything.

Jack vanishes and another man appears. His hair is unkempt and greasy as it frames his round face; he's defiantly older than I am.

A chill runs through me and I began to shake as I try to make sense of it all, but there doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason to it. What did all this have to do with the drug I had been given? Where was Jack? Was he all right?

The man began to stir, and reaching out I shake him hard. "Who are you and where's Jack? What are you doing planning to do with me?"

The man tried to sit up but he was tied to the bed. "What?" He looked around the room. "What are you doing? Let me go!"

Drawing a deep breath, I point the zat at him. "You're not Jack O'Neill. Your name is Bozin. Who are you working for, and where were you taking me? I need to know!"

"Untie me or you'll soon feel pain like you never have. We'll find you wherever you go; there's nowhere to run." The man tries to move, but I have restrained him well.

Feeling myself begin to tire, I press, "Why does the NID want me?"

The man's reaction tells me I'm way off. "If you're not NID, who are you? The Trust? Rogue NID? Lucien Alliance?"

The last one gets a reaction but I have no idea where the name came from. "It was-" I shake my head. This is all too confusing and the exhaustion I am beginning to feel wasn't making things easier.

Raising the gun one last time I demand, "Who are you? Tell me now or you die." I back up my words by raising the zat higher. "I've already shot you once; another one this soon will kill you, and the third one will make you disappear."

The man actually laughs at me. "You won't kill me. I know all about you, Samantha Carter. Now give up. They will be here you soon." The man's voice is so confident.

Hating that he's right, I lower the zat and pick up the gun, smacking it down on his head. "I guess you're right."

A sense of panic takes over as I head out the door. They're coming for me and I have to get out here. The instincts I've managed to fight are demanding to be heard. As I leave the room, I pick up the cell phone he left on the table in case I need it.

I take in my location. There the road only goes two ways; the direction we came from and the way forward. Other than the ramshackle collection of buildings there is nothing around but farmland and a few sloughs. The buildings are made up of a ancient gas station and I wonder if the pumps actually work, a restaurant I'm surprised is still standing and the hotel.

Seeing no one waiting for me, I run, heading from the dense brush surrounding the buildings.

* * *

I have two more chapters of this story posted on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile(I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Thanks to purpleshrub as always.**

**Chapter 6**

From the cover of the brush I look around. There are no vehicles, so how did I get to this gas station and dumpy motel? Where is everyone?

I close my eyes trying to figure out what to do. I'm trapped with no where to go and I have no idea where the Stargate is... Frowning I rub my temples, my head is starting to pound and my mouth is dry. I look down at the zat in my hand to see it shaking. I need to get out of here and get help.

Then I remember Bozin's cell phone. I flip it open but all I get is static, not dial tone and I toss the useless thing away frustrated.

Down the highway I can see a sign telling me that the Utah boarder is another five kilometers and I assume I'm still Colorado.

What was Bozin's plan? If he was taking me to Area 51, he was going the wrong way. What could he want with me, who's he working for? None of this makes any sense.

* * *

Finally there is the sound of people. They and everything around them seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. One man is filling his car with gas, while another washes his windows. A woman stands by her van door yelling at her kids, who are fighting inside.

A prickle at the back of my neck makes me look around. The short squat man with the greasy hair from the hotel is standing in the shadows of some trees. Who is he? From a holster on his left shoulder he pulls out a gun.

"Samantha Carter, you need to come back. If you don't these people will pay the price. Their deaths will be on your hands. You have to the count of five before I start shooting."

In horror I listen to him count. He won't shoot these people; they have done nothing. What kind of monster is he? He reaches ten and fires the first shot.

The woman yelling at her kids is hit in the arm, the man cleaning his windows in the leg and the man pumping gas in the middle of his forehead.

The man with the gun stands there, taunting me. "Surrender Samantha Carter or more innocent people will die."

I raise my hands to show that I surrender, and step out from where I'm hiding. "Stop! Don't hurt them!"

The man lowers his gun. "You cause more problems than you're worth Samantha Carter. The time has come for you to tell me where you have hidden it. You will tell me or my friend Jenvan will find what I want to know and you will not enjoy the process."

He is standing right in front of me and I can smell his rancid breath. I take a step back looking for the bystanders but they have vanished as had all the buildings. Grey walls appear and begin to close in around me He reaches out to grab me but my instincts kick in and I begin to fight. He never has a chance; my blows are too to the stomach and two in the head, and he crumples to the ground unconscious.

Again I see the dark-haired woman appear out of thin air, motioning me to follow. She steps closer and calls my name, but I turn and run the opposite direction; away from the woman and everything that has happened.

The edgy feeling is back and I have to find- I grab my head trying to think, but nothing makes sense other than I have to get away.

I look back and see the dark-haired woman behind me and something tells me to go back, but I don't listen. I can't trust her, she was with _them_. She gave the order to- I shake my head not understanding, was she real or a figment of my imagination?

* * *

A few minutes later I stop, leaning against a tree. The path ahead begins to climb and I don't know if I have the strength to continue. My injuries have been a dull ache but now the pain makes it hard to concentrate. As the pain increases, I try to think about where I'm going and why, but all that I know is I'm lost and I have no where to go.

The cut below my eye burns and my black eye throbs as it closes up again, making it harder to see. My hair tickles my face and I brush the long strands back out of the way. I sometimes miss the days when it was short. I flip the blond mess out of my eyes but it's so greasy it stays right where it is.

The forest is thick on both sides of me, giving an appearance of darkness, but it doesn't matter. Finally the path levels off and I step out into a clearing. There is nothing there but a meadow full of wildflowers, and tall grass. And someone is waiting for me.

My hand tightens on my 'zat, I draw a sharp breath. It's the woman with long dark hair, the one who has been following me. Confused, I stare at the woman wondering, where she came from. How could she reached the top of the hill before me?

She steps forward holding her hands above her head to show she's unarmed. "Sam, I didn't betray you. Please, you have to understand, I was working for them two years ago, but I'm not now. Where did you hide it? We can't go home without it."

Feeling slightly panicked, I step back, never taking my gun off of the other woman. "Who are you? Why are you here?"

"Sam, it's me Vala. We have to get out of here, Netan will kill us if he finds me here. Please you have to trust me."

I look at the woman without any recognition. "What do you mean trust you? You betrayed me, it's your fault I can't think straight. I don't know who you are or why you've done this to me! Who is Netan?"

She ignores my weapon and steps closer. "You must remember Netan. He's very upset because we burned his Kassa field. Don't you remember?"

I lift the gun higher. "Stay where you are. Who sent you? Your story's full of holes. I don' t know any Vala or Netan. I-" I put my hand to my head, it begins to throb. In my mind I see is sharp-faced man with a cruel smile looking down at me as the bright red field blazes. Somehow I know his name is Netan. But how do I know him and from where?

I step back away from the woman. Another vision wavers in front of me. I see Vala with a blop of ice cream on her nose as she licks a bowl clean. "Samantha this ice cream is the best thing I have ever tasted. Is there more?" She holds the bowl out to me.

I jerk my eyes open and stare at her confused. "How did you do that? I know I don't know any Vala." My gun dips a bit and I grab for control of my mind but it continues to spin out of control as I see flashes of events I can't remember.

She takes this opportunity to come closer. "Samantha, we met a few years ago when I helped you guys with the Ori. Remember them? Samantha, I need you to remember. We're in big trouble here and if you don't wake up... I can't leave you here to die, but I don't want to die myself."

Trying to ignore the pain, I look at the woman. "No, you can't be Vala! I don't know you!" I stop and grab my head as the pain increases. "No, you look so-" I lift the gun higher even though my hand is shaking. "Stay back, you're the reason I can't think! You betrayed me!"

Ignoring me and the gun Vala steps closer. "Netan has taken you prisoner and addicted you to Kassa. I had to side with them to keep you safe. I never betrayed you. Please Sam, we're running out of time and we need to escape Sam, I need you to remember-"

"No, stay back." I step back. Then suddenly I'm no longer on firm ground. I begin falling and just as I pass out I see the Stargate looming in the distance.

* * *

I have two more chapters of this story posted on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile(I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** I'm back from vacation now and I will post again this week but if I get some comments I just might post three times this week to make up for being gone. I hope this chapter moves the story along and clears up a few things.

As always thanks to purpleshrub

* * *

Chapter 7

I wake up shivering in the damp air and roll over, trying to get warm by curling up into the fetal position. Looking around the small cell, I try to remember how I got here. I touch my head feeling a lump where I stuck the floor.

Trying to think, I push my dirty hair back from my face. Gathering the matted mass, I look for something to tie it back with. My first thought was to rip a piece off my shirt and use that, but I look down at the battered garment in dismay. It's not as black as it should be, and from the smell of it, I've hit it a few times when I've throw up. The rest of my clothing isn't much better; my pants are full of holes and not much elseSeeing no other choice, I tear a piece off my shirt and use it to tie off a messy braid. I sit up and my stomach rolls, but I can't afford to throw up. I'm already far too weak.

My mind is sluggish as hunger and thirst gnaw at me. Shaking off the fuzzy feeling in my mind,remember only the fear and pain. The last time I was awake this wasn't where I remember was.

Outside in the hallway, I hear footsteps. Panic fills me; it's my torturers returning to ask me more questions I don't know the answers to. I back into the corner, wanting to control my fear, but it's unrelenting.

Suddenly, I'm back in my dream seeing the specters. I cover my ears, screaming at them to leave me alone, but even through my hand, I can hear a voice patiently speaking to me trying to bring me around.

The door creaks and slowly opens. Someone enters the room and I hear the jingle of keys. "Darling, the guards have gone to dinner, we don't have much time. We need to leave here."

The specter reaches out to touch me but I claw and bite, continuing to scream. "Where am I, why am I here? Who are you and what have you done to me?"

Instead of retaliating, she grabs my arms, shaking me. "Samantha, you've been dreaming. It's the drugs you've been given. It's me, Vala. You need to remember."

I wrench myself from her grip as I recognize her. "No, it wasn't a dream, I was there, I-" I search my pockets for the money and other things I took from the man in the hotel room but they're all gone.

Patting down my clothes, I realize that I'm dressed for an off-world mission, not in BDUs as I would have been on base. "But I was just in a clearing and then I fell..."

"It was a dream. Can't you remember anything about the mission? We were on a planet that had been ravaged by the Ori plague. Then it all went bad, so very bad Samantha..."

Grabbing her hand, I demand, "How long…."

"We've been here six weeks Samantha. I've tried to get us out but they've always been a step ahead of me and today they moved you to this secure facility. I'm not even supposed to be here, but I sweet- talked my way in here."

The strain from the last few days is evident on Vala's face and I realize she's been doing this alone. "You need to rest. How long has it been since you slept?"

Vala shakes her head. "No Sam, it's time we got out of here- if we stay here much longer you'll die."

I know she's right yet my eyes are drifting closed. I'm slipping away into that fuzzy place. The place I've been trying hard to fight. The walls go in and out and I see things I know aren't there, those people I have failed and lost. All my horrible memories have come back to haunt me in this place. The worst is my parents. They come to me together and say nothing, but I see shame in their eyes that I can't fight what these people have done to me.

Drawing a deep breath, I reach for control. Where am I, why am I here? I can't seem to remember where I am.

A stinging slap slashes across my cheek. "Samantha, wake up!"

The pain wrenches me from the daze I'd fallen in. I struggle back into consciousness. "Vala, can we go home now? I'm tired of this place and the food sucks."

Vala smiles, giving a small laugh. She sits down beside and presses a cup to my lips, making me drink. I want to drink it slowly but my thirst wins out and I drain the cup. I collapse back against the wall. I wrinkle my nose at the smell of vomit and sweat that comes off of me.

"Yes, we can. I know you are hungry and I have some food but unless you get a wiggle on I won't be able to share." She wipes her tears away. "But you need to get up, darling. We have to get out of here, this party isn't much fun. They'll be coming again soon and I don't think you can take another round of thirty questions."

I can't stop the smile on my face from getting bigger. "It's twenty questions Vala." Then I laugh hoarsely and it descends into a cough.

"This isn't the time for correcting my colloquialisms. You haven't eaten for-" She almost loses control again but she draws a sharp breath before continuing, "Four days. You never gave up on me, so I'm not leaving you. We're getting out of here together-"

Urgently she tugs at my arm. "About a week ago Whistler told me, far too happily I must say, there would be no more kassa until you tell them where the GDO is. My friend, you're a strong person but even you have your limits. We both do. I don't know if you'll last another round of their persuasive questioning. Whistler could be here at any minute."

Closing my eyes, I search my memory trying to figure this out, to understand what's going on. "Kassa?

Why would someone do that? What would they gain? It doesn't make any sense; what does he want a GDO for?"

"I don't know but it can't be good, but he's going to kill you if I don't get you out of here soon."

Vala's information swirls around my head as I try to organize it into coherent lines. "How do you know that he will kill me?"

"Just give me a minute." She stops, panic clearly written on her face as she looks at the door. We both can hear the approaching footsteps and off-key song. "That's Whistler! I don't know his real name, but he's the one who brought you the kassa and food. Do you remember?"

I shake my head but Vala doesn't seem to notice. She gets up to leave but not before she tucks a food bar into my hand.

"I have to go now, but I'll be back for you as soon as I can." The door closes behind her and I can't help but feel abandoned.

Knowing I don't have much time, I shove the whole thing in my mouth chewing the granola like food as fast as I can. In the stillness, I see flashes of memory.

0o0o0

_Six__Weeks__Earlier_

_The __planet __feels __dead __as __we __step __out __of __the __Stargate __and __on to __the __stairs__. __Mitchell __orders __us __to __split __up__. __The __guys __head __off __one __way __while __Vala __and __I __move __off __in __another __direction__. __We__'__re __here __to __make __contact __with __a __guy __Vala __knows__, __Bozin__. __He__'__s __supposed __to __have __some __information __about __the __Lucien __Alliance__'__s __Kassa __exportation__. __Vala __tells __us __he __feels __bad __about __the __last __time __they __met __and __wants __to __make __amends__._

_Vala __and __I __can__'__t __find __him __and __the __boys __see __no __sign __of __him __either__._

_Then __we__'__re __running __from __some __people__, __they __might __be __men__, __they __could __be __some thing __else__. __I __can__'__t __see __them __but __they__'__re __shooting __at __us__. __Vala __falls __going __down __hard__. "__Sam, __you __have __to __keep __running__. __They __want __the __GDOs__. __Take __mine __and __hide __them__. __Please__, __very __bad __things __will __happen __if __they __get __their __hands __on __them__. __You __go __that __way __and __I__'__ll __lead __them __in __the __other __direction__."_

_Unsure, __I __take __her __device__. __I __want __to __demand __answers __but __she__'__s __already __on __her __feet __disappearing __into __the __field __with __her __light __out__._

_I __stash __the __devices __and __head __for __the __gate__, __letting __Mitchell __know __what__'__s __happening__. __He __responses __that __they __are __under __heavy __fire __and __can__'__t __help __us __out__._

_The __next __few __minutes __are __a __blur __as __the __Kassa __field __begins __to __burn __but __then __I __get __hit __by __a__ '__zat __and __go __down__._

_When __I __wake__, __the __burning __field __illuminates __Vala__'__s __long __dark __hair__. __There __are __footsteps __closing __in __on me__. __Vala __bends __down __close __to __me __and __says__, "__Samantha__, __I__'__m __sorry __this __is __the __only __way__."_

_She __pulls __out __her __gun __as __we__'__re __surrounded __members __of __Lucien __Alliance__._

_The __man __who __pushes __his __way __to __the __front __of __the __group __is __Netan__, __the __leader __of __the __Lucien __Alliance__. __With __his __appearance__, __I __slowly __raise __my __hand __to __my __radio__, __but __Vala __sees __what __I __am __doing__. __Her __hand __wavers __and __the __gun __dips __slightly __as __she __looks __at __me__, __but __draws __a __deep __breath __and __mouths, __I__'__m __sorry __before __she __strikes __me __across __the __face__._

_Netan __smiles __as __he __grabs __Vala __around __the __waist__. "__Well __done __my __pet__. It took you much longer than anticipated, but __I__'__m __happy __to __have __you __back__. __Where __is __the __rest __of __the __team__? __I __wanted __the __whole __set__. __That __Mitchell __has __made __a __fool __of __me __too __many __times__."_

"_Mitchell __split __up __the __team__. __They __are __here __somewhere__, __and __if __you __act __quickly __you __may __find __them__, __but __it __might __be __best __to __take __Colonel __Carter __and __go__. __Teal__'__c __and __Mitchell __won__'__t __go __quietly__."_

"_You __always __were __a __step __or __two __ahead __of __me__. __That__'__s __why __you __lasted __longer __than __so __many __other __pets__." __Then __I __watch __in __horror __as __Netan __kisses __her__. "__Now __Vala__, __where __is __the __GDO__? __I __owe __the __SGC __a __little __pay back __for __all __the __trouble __they __have __caused __me __over __the __past __few __years__."_

_Vala __looks __at __me__, __pointing __her __finger__. "__She __hid __it __before __I __could __get __possession __of __it__. __I __don__'__t __know __where __it __is__."_

_Netan__'__s __face __darkens__. "__Well __then __we__'__ll __have __to __make __her __talk__." __Three __men __hold __me __down __while __Netan __forces __me __to __drink __something __overly __sweet__._

* * *

I have two more chapters of this story posted on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile(I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** I planned to post this on Wed but things got away from me.

* * *

The next time I wake I'm no longer in my cell. I lift my head to look around, but all I see is darkness.

My arms and legs are tied to a chair. I try to move them to restart the circulation but my bonds are two tight. Where am I now? My last memory was being outside looking for the Stargate. Is there really a Stargate out in open in Colorado? I shake my head, my thought are confused and fuzzy.

A voice speaks from the darkness around me; it's right next to my ear whispering. "Colonel Carter you have proven to be most difficult. You could have gone the easy way, but-" He slaps me hard across the face and the ring on his finger cuts my cheek and I taste blood. "-you chose to be difficult. The time for trickery and ruse is over. Tell me where the GDO is. If you want to survive this you must tell me where you hid it. Only then will I stop the starvation stop and give you this."

A hand comes into my line of vision and I see a green chunky substance. Kassa, I've had these crystals or as a liquid in needles. I know the smell and the sickeningly sweet taste; it starts me salivating. It will end the pain and make me feel whole again. I need it. I try to look at the man to see who he is but my head is bound as tightly as my arms.

"I don't know what you are talking about. I don't know what you are looking for!" I tell him, hating the hopelessness in my voice.

"Come now, Samantha." His fingers brush my cheek, "You know where you hid the GDO. I need it if I'm to attack Earth. You will give me the code and tell me where the device is."

The realization of what is happening makes me sick. I'm a prisoner of the Lucien Alliance. As my tormentor enters my line of vision I see Netan, their leader. "I'm not telling you anything." I remember now Vala gave me her device when we split up and I hid the devices. But she betrayed me, she's on their side. Why would she do that? My mind is spinning with possibilities and none make sense.

I can feel myself slowly sliding back into that dream world as the walls turn blood red and the specters have returned to the room. I bite my lip to stifle a scream but it slips out and Netan strikes me again, but he too turns into an pink elephant and I can't understand his words.

He's striking me harder, he's out of control. I know I must push him over the edge because there is a chance he will kill me. Not having any other recourse I spit in his face. "You're no better than the Goa'uld."

I see the anger build and then explode over his features as he loses control. The first blow strikes my face, the next one hits my ribs, as the force sends the chair crashing to the floor. I bite my lips to stop any sound from escaping as my head strikes the ground and blackness covers me.

0o0o0

I come awake as Vala enters my cell once more. "Sam, I'm sorry this has happened but we need to go now. The-"

"Stop the lies Vala. I know what you want and I won't give it to you. I won't let you betray us any further. You came to the SGC as a Lucien Alliance spy, you've been spying them this whole time. Leave me here to die. I won't play your games. I remember what happened."

"Samantha, it's not like that. I had to. I needed to keep you and me alive. Please understand I want us to get home. You have to trust me."

My door opens suddenly and Whistler stands in the doorway. He's shorter than me and looks as though he's never bathed in his life. The smell wafting off him reminds me of things long dead and rotting.

Seeing Vala at my side, he grins, showing us his missing teeth.

"We've been looking for you, Vala Mal Doran. The master knows he was a fool to trust you and he's not very please with you. Like your father every word that drops from your mouth is lies-"

Once I'm on my feet, Vala directs me to the bed. She hides behind the door pulling out a small knife. With a shrill cry Vala smashes Whistler into the door.

I watch them grapple, shocked at the turn of events. A smile that crosses my lips as she slams his head into the door. Whatever her motives I can't help but admire Vala's fighting style as she kicks Whistler in the gut.

He counters, getting a hold of Vala's hair and pulling as he gets to his feet. She screams and kicks him in the groin but he doesn't let go.

Vala sweeps his feet out from under him and knocks him to the floor. He falls with a chunk of her hair still clutched in his hands. With a scream of rage her foot connects with his stomach while he's down. Pinning him to the floor she smashes his head down on the floor until he's unconscious. I know I should feel some remorse or sympathy for the man but he has tormented and abused me since my imprisonment began and I can't say I'm sad to see him brought down.

Then looking up at me she calls out, "Samantha, tear up the sheet and help me bind him."

Now that the fight is over I stare at Vala. "Why did you do that?" Backing away I shake my head.

Vala holds out her hand to me. "My words to you were not lies. What I told you before is the truth. Sam, please follow me. I will get us out of here. Trust me."

I don't want to trust her but she's my only choice. All I need to do is bide my time for a chance to escape.

Nodding I do as Vala asks. Passing her the strips, I search his clothes for anything of use. I find a small knife and pocket it before Vala sees me.

Working together, we heft the short man onto one of the beds and cover him with the blanket, hoping this will buy us a bit of time. We're hoping they won't know I'm gone until they actually come into the cell.

I stumble, falling to the ground. Vala helps me to my feet and wraps her arm around my waist. She orders me to move and hopfully fortune will smile upon us today.

"Help me up and then we'll get out of here once and for all. I must say if I never see this place again it'll be too soon." I say holding out my hand. I still not sure if I totally trust Vala but I need to get out of here.

Vala grips my hand, hauling me to my feet before stepping back to see if I can stand. I swayed slightly but remain upright.

Drawing a deep breath, I tell her, "I'm ready to go."

* * *

_It__'__s __late __and __I __know __I __should __be __tackling __the __mountain __of __paperwork __I __have __sitting __on __my __temporary __desk__, __but __I __can__'__t __pull __myself __away __from __the __window __over__looking __the__ '__gate__. __I __stare __at __it __ready __to __spring __into __action __if __called__, __but __the '__gate __stands __there __still __and __silent__. __I __have __never __been __good __at __waiting __for __anything __but __I __find __myself __learning __to __because __I __can__'__t __give __up__on __my __people__, __my __team__._

_There __is __nothing __else __I __can __do__, __so __I __stand __in __the __briefing __room __willing __the __Stargate __to __dial__. __Sam __and __Vala __have __been __missing __for __six __weeks __and __the __SGC __still __has __no __idea __where __they __are__. __The __IOA __has __assumed __the __worst __and __called __off __the __search__, __but __the __rest __of __SG__-1 __and __I __refuse __to __give __up __hope__._

_Daniel__'__s __injured __ankle __has __sidelined __him __and __he __just __sits __down __in __his __office __poring __over __all __the __data __trying __to __find __some __lead __that __will __tell __us __where __they__'__ve __been __taken__. __Cam __and __Teal__'__c __are __chasing __down __any __whisper __of __the __two __women__, __but __I__'__m __stuck __here __behind __a __desk __pushing __paper__. __I __feel __so __useless __and __there__'__s __nothing __I __can __do__. __My __knees __prevent __me __from __going __out __and __looking __for __my __lost __team __members__, __and __it __hurts__._

_What __use __is __being __a __general__, __if __I __can__'__t __do __anything __to __help __them__?_

_Over __the __years __we__'__ve __all __gone __missing __and __the __remaining __team __have __never __given __up__. __I __can __do __nothing less __for __Carter and Vala__. __She __and __Vala__, __deserve __the __same __amount __of __time __before __I __began __to __think __about __giving __up __and __I__'__ll __make __sure __she __get __it__, __even __if __all __I __have __to __fight __with __is __a __mountain __of __paper__. __As __a __team __we __defied __the __odds __many __times __and __I __have __to __believe __that __it__'__ll __happen __again__, __I __just __have __to __wait__._

_Footsteps __come __up __behind __me__. __I __know __who __it __is __without __looking__. __I __wonder __what__'__s __brought __him __out __of __his __self__-__induced __exile__. __Before __he __can __speak __I __say__, "__Have __you __slept__, __Daniel__? __Dr__. __Lam __ordered __you __to __bed __earlier __today__."_

"_A __bit __and __you__?" __Daniel __answers__._

_Rubbing __the __back __of __my __neck__, __I __answer__, "__Not __too __much__. __Any__more __leads__?"_

_Daniel __shakes __his __head__. "__Nope__. __We__'__re __hoping __the __Tok__'__ra __would __have __something __but __they __just __brushed __us __off__. __I __think __they __know __something__, __but __they__'__re __not __sharing __with __us__. __We__'__ll __find __Sam __and __Vala__; __we __have __to.__"_

_I __look __over __at __Daniel __and __I __can __see __the __toll __this __has __taken __on __him__. __Sam __is __important __to __him__, __as __is __Vala__. "__I __know __we __will__. __Why __don__'__t __we __turn __in __and __get __a __fresh __look __at __all __this __tomorrow__. __Maybe __we__'__ll __catch __a __break__."_

"_I __will __if __you __will__, __Jack__, __but __I __know __that __you__'__re__s taying __right __here __so __I__'__ll __just __wait __with __you__."_

_We __share __a __smile__, __but __it __vanishes __quickly __as __the '__gate __begins __to __spin __and __the __chevrons __begin __to __lock__ into __place__. __We __take __off __running __even __before __Walter__'__s __voice __comes __over __the __PA __shouting__, "__Unscheduled __off__-__world __activation__!"_

* * *

I have two more chapters of this story posted on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile(I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: I hope things have now become clear. Was this story too confusing? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Beta: Thanks to purpleshrub as always.

* * *

Together Vala and I stumble blindly through the almost black halls. She's supporting me as we go, because my strength is failing. I have no reserves left but I keep pushing myself. If we stop, we'll die.

The construction of the corridor bothers me, but I can't spare the concentration to figure out why. All my energy is going into putting one foot in front of the other and ignoring the ghostly figures that stalk me, grabbing at my clothes. They hover at the edge my vision. Every so often one will catch me off guard and I have to stifle a scream.

I need to rest my limbs are beginning to feel like lead. I want to stop but I need to focus on getting Vala and myself out of here. It's my job to get us home; I'm in command, I can't let her down. When the time comes I need to be ready to fight. I can't expect Vala to do this alone, not any more.

Coming out into a large chamber, I motion for Vala to lower me to the floor. Looking around I finally realize where we are. I wonder why I didn't notice the design before. We're in a Lantian outpost. I haven't actually been in a base like this but I've pored over the schematics McKay dumped on my desk one day.

"Samantha, what is this place? It looks like Atlantis but it's not the same." I can hear the confusion in Vala's voice. She's obviously recognized the style of the décor.

"Vala, we need to go back the way we came. Help me up, we don't have much time."

Together we rise, but I stumble and she props me against the wall. I close my eyes, breathing heavily fighting the wave of dizziness that passes over me.

Vala shakes me lightly. "Samantha, do you need something?"

"No, but the Stargate is back that way." I motion over Vala's left shoulder. "I've seen a design like this before when I was in Pegasus, only this one is less advanced. The Lantians must have built it before they returned to the other galaxy."

Vala stands up a little straighter. "Tell me where to go and I'll get us there. This is Netan's secret base and he never allowed me to come here before, I'm hopelessly lost. Are you ready to move again? Would you like some water?"

"A little bit please." I force myself to swallow a few sips before we move on.

After making sure the coast is clear, we step out into the hallway heading in the opposite direction. I feel confident in my choices until we reach a crossroad. I try to remember that day and think back to drawings I studied. Briefly closing my eyes, I try to ignore my pain, my nausea. It's been two years. So much has happened and the ghosts are still there distracting me.

I focus on the day Rodney waltzed into my office on Atlantis and dropped his charts all over my desk. Then he began babbling about the facility one of the teams had found and how he wanted to go and study it. I remembered quickly looking over the schematics before politely telling Rodney off. There was a time and place for these things and that moment wasn't one of them.

Then out of nowhere I see Janet amongst the dead and I remember she's gone. Janet was killed off world and Cassie still isn't talking to me. I lost them both and I don't know how to-

"Sam? Are you all right?"

Opening my eyes I look at Vala and force a smile. "Yeah, I'm just remembering a few things I'd forgotten. Now where are we?"

Vala looks at our three options. "Which one do we take?"

I look at my three choices, but I'm not sure. I close my eyes, fighting to remember. Finally, I make a decision and point to the tunnel on the left. "That way, down that corridor, about fifty meters that should take us to the gateroom."

Now that I have made my choice, I'm no longer certain. My vision swims as horrible doubt clings to me. "I think, it's been such a long time since I studied the schematics."

A sharp slap stings my cheek and the world comes back into focus. Tears run down Vala's cheeks and I know she's in worse shape than she's allowed me to see. "Sam, I need you to help me. You know the way and I don't. Time is running out for us in too many ways."

I scrub my hands across my face trying to focus. I look down the corridor, then draw a sharp breath and point. "That way."

Although I'm sure Vala wants to she doesn't ask me if I'm sure. "All right, we go that way. Follow the yellow brick road."

Stifling a laugh, I begin moving forward with Vala's help, hoping that I'm right.

* * *

_Looking __down __at __the __vortex __from __the __control __room __window __I __ask __Walter__, "__Who __is __it__?"_

_I __shift __my __leg __a __little __hoping __to __ease __the __pain __in __my __ankle__, __because __of my __clumsiness __I__'__m __stuck __here __on __base __while __Sam __and __Vala __are __lost __out __there__. __I__'__m __not __supposed __to __be __up __and __about__, __but __I __can__'__t __just __lie __in __the __infirmary__, __or __sit __in __my __office __and __not __be __involved__._

_The __man __doesn__'__t __look __at __me__. "__Dr__. __Jackson__, __we__'__ve __received __Colonel __Mitchell__'__s __IDC__."_

_Reaching __out__, __I __touch __Jack__'__s __shoulder__. __H__e __tenses __at __my __touch __but __doesn__'__t __look __at __me __as __the __wormhole __settles __into __a __calm __pool__. "__Have __hope__, __Jack__. __Sam __and __Vala __are __strong__."_

_He __nods__, __and __I __hope __I__'__m __right __as __Teal__'__c __and __Mitchell __burst __out __of __the __event __horizon __and __with out __stopping __they __head __down __the __ramp__, __heading __for __the __control __room__. _

_The __two __soldiers __crest __the __stairs __out __of __breath __from __the __speed __they __took __the __stairs__."__We __got __a __lead__, __but __if __it __pans __out __Sam __and __the __Princess __are __in __deep __trouble__. __I __finally __got __an __answer __from __the __Tok__'__ra__, __I __called __in __those __favors, __General __O__'__Neill__. __It __worked __like __a __charm__." __Mitchell __faces __Landry__. "__I __want __SG__-3 __to __come __with __me__."_

_Landry __doesn__'__t __hesitate__. "__Done__."_

_Cam __turns __back __to __me__, __placing __his __hand __on __my __shoulder__. "__Jackson__, __I __know __you__'__re __worried __but __we__'__ll __get __the __Princess __and __Sam __back safely__, __you__'__ll __see__."_

_As __I __move __back __to __stand __beside __Jack __I __hear __him __mutter__, "__Bring __them __home __Mitchell__, __please__."_

* * *

I have two more chapters of this story posted on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile (I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** Only two more chapters after this one. So we should be done in two more weeks. Then I will take a break before posting a SGA kidfic. For those of you waiting patiently for Academy Daze: Year Two, it's coming. Me and my beta have started work on the final edit but it's all about time at this point. I have started writing Year One (I have about five chapters's done) and hope to complete it by the end of the year so that it's ready once Year two is completely posted.

For those who have never read Academy Daze or it's prequel Who Am I Who Are You?, it is a story about Jack's Clone, Jon and Cassie as well a group of original characters at the Air Force Academy. It has a bit of Sam and Jack but it's mostly about Cassie and Jon and how they must find their way in this crazy world knowing what they know. Is it possible for an alien and a clone to have a normal life?

Enough with the commercial! Now on with the show!

* * *

We stumble through the tunnels. I can see light up ahead. Looking back I hope I have chosen the right way; our lives depend on it. Up ahead I can hear voices. Our steps slow and Vala leans me against the wall while she moves forward to peek around the corner and move back again silently.

"Two men are patrolling the halls. What do you want to do?"

I make my sluggish mind come up with a plan. I know that we need to take them out and since Vala's never had much skill with a knife, the job falls to me. I have to silence both of them at the same time. I've never wished more for a zat or a 9mm with a silencer, but I have neither.

Slipping back down the hall, I step close to Vala. "We have two sentries in the hall and they are in our way. I need your knife, I'm going to take them out."

After removing it from her belt, Vala holds it out hilt first. "Make it count because you won't get another chance."

Drawing a deep breath, I test the weight of both knifes. Stepping quickly around the corner, I throw the knife in my right hand. A split second later, before either guard has had a chance to register it, I throw the one in my left hand. There's no quick relief that both found their marks, because as the men crumple silently they shift before my eyes into Janet, into my father. They're dead. I've killed them.

Then Vala jostles my arm, moving forward to make sure the men are dead, and the illusion dissolves. My aim with my left hand was a little off—the knife hit the man's chest rather than his neck. It was sheer luck the blade had found his heart, that he'd been too surprised to scream.

"Samantha, are you all right? I mean we can stop of a while if...?"

"No the best thing to do is keep moving and get us home." I close my eyes as the specter of Janet edges closer, her finger raised accusingly. Forcing myself to move, I tell Vala, "Grab anything useful; I'm sure the Stargate will be guarded."

Turning away, I grab the closest man and Vala does the same. We strip both bodies of everything useful, including weapons. I tuck the man's 'zat into my holster feeling better now that I'm armed. I look over at Vala and I can tell she's feeling more confident 're heading for the Alpha site but I'm sure they've moved it since our capture. I want to search through the pack but I know we need to hide the bodies first.

Looking around I search for a room or something else of use to us, then I see it. I point to a spot on the wall. "That should be a transporter. If we're lucky the Lucien Alliance hasn't realized what it is and these guys will stay hidden for a while."

"Sounds like a plan." Vala moves to the first man's feet.

Together we half-drag and half-carry the dead men down the hall and store them in the transporter. Soon they will find me missing from my cell and the guards around the Stargate will increase.

Taking an extra minute I search my new pack, looking for food and water. There is something like a power bar and I want to shove it all into my mouth, but I force myself to chew and swallow, taking precious time.

Feeling slightly better I toss one to Vala. As I eat I try to remember the schematic once more. I'm sure now that we are on the right track and I tell Vala who hands me a canteen. I take a sip and hand it back.

"So what is the plan? I'm sure Netan will have the Statgate guarded. I mean we're not going to be able to waltz in there, bat our eyelashes and they'll let us dial the Stargate."

Nodding I sigh; this point has been nagging me. "It's not much farther now. We need to move on."

Going as fast as I can we head down the hallway, creeping toward the Stargate chamber.

A few meters from the entrance we pause. Stepping away from Vala I head toward the break. "I'm going to take a look, but I'll be back for you as soon as I can. We can do this Vala, we're so close."

Biting her lip, she nods. Although I hate to leave her I move away holding my 'Zat, preparing myself for what's coming.

When she'd done, Vala gets to her feet brushing off her hands. "Shall we, darling?"

I nod and get to my feel by myself and try to walk but the world dips and spins. Vala wraps her arm around my shoulders once again. "Take it easy, Samantha. We're not out of the wools yet."

Laughing I lean on her. "Woods, Vala woods."

* * *

_Mitchell__, __Teal__'__c __and __SG__-3 __are __all __geared __up __and __ready __to __go__. __From __where __I__'__m __standing __next __to __Jack __by __the end of the ramp__, __I __can __see __him __pinching __the __bridge __of __his __nose__. __He __wants __to __go __with __them __as __much __as __I __do__, __I __can __see __it __on __his __face__. __But __just __like __me__, __he __has __to __let __Teal__'__c__, __Mitchell __and __the __others __handle __this __one__._

_Jack __has __no __great __speech for__the __departing __team__, __saying __only__, "Do what you are trained to do__. Bring our lost people home.."_

_Teal__'__c __nods __solemnly__, __shifting __his __grip __on __his __weapon__, __but __as __he __turns __to __face __the __Stargate__, __it __begins __to __spin__. Everyone stares at it confused, __Walter __hasn__'__t __started __dialing __yet__; __he__'__s __still __calling __up __the __correct __address __in __the __computer__. __Without __missing __a __beat__, __he __activates __the __warning __klaxons __and __shouts __into __the __base__'__s __sound __system__, "__Unscheduled __off__-__world __activation__!"_

* * *

This story is now complete on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile (I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note**: Here we are again. One more chapter after this one.

* * *

I move to the crossroads and look out. Men surround the Stargate and I wonder if there is a way to cause a diversion so that we can dial the gate and escape. I know we don't have much time and we don't have nearly enough firepower to take out the six soldiers.

I look over at Vala and she's much better shape than I am. I turn my head quickly; the ghosts are back edging at my vision but I choose to ignore them. I know they are not real and they can't hurt me. I close my eyes counting to ten to gain control once more.

Opening my eyes I see what needs to be done, the visions have changed. I see flames all around me; specters are ablaze and a plan begins to form. Spinning around I look for a panel.

Returning to Vala I quickly outline my idea and she shakes her head. "Are you crazy? I mean, this is your plan? We cut the power and start a fire?"

Shrugging, I ask, "You got a better idea?"

Vala shakes her head. "Well then plan A it is. What do I need to do?"

I hand her back her knife. "Shred the blankets and anything else. We're going to create a fire right here." I hand over a few of the large sticks that have blown in through the broken windows. "I saw a lighter like thing in the packs. Use it to start the blankets on fire while I cut the power. Hopefully the soldiers will come to check out what happened and we'll be able to pick them off.

"Then we hug the wall moving toward the DHD and dial the Alpha site. If there are soldiers left I'll take care of them while you dial. You will go through immediately, don't wait for me. One of us has to get home.

"Samantha, there is no way I'm leaving you here to die."

"I'm not planning on letting you. I want to get home and have a steak dinner with all the fixings and a pound of chocolate."

"It's a date Sam and I want cheesecake to go with the chocolate, now that stuff is heavenly."

"I'll see you on the other side, Vala."

"You bet you will."

Looking up and down the hall, I open the control panel and take out a knife. I begin to cut wires, not giving myself time to think. All around us the lights flash, flicker and then fade leaving us in total darkness. I can hear the panicked whispers of the men around the Stargate.

Vala grabs my hand and squeezes it. "I'll see you soon, Sam."

Knowing time is of the essence I squeeze back and let go. I hate to leave her but I know I must. Slipping through the dark and smoke I go on the hunt. I take out one, two, three men, but I can't find the others. I see Vala light her torch and she starts dialing the 'gate. The soldier's there right behind her. I only have time to call out her name, but Vala moves swiftly, blocking his blow and using her zat she takes him out.

That leaves only two more and we are out of time. I can hear more men coming as the gate continues to spin and I find myself repeating Walter's mantra. Chevron one locked... two… three... four... five... six... seven. I reach Vala just as the vortex settles into the event horizon. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and we struggle up the steps, falling together into the puddle.

* * *

We tumble out of the wormhole to find a desolate world as the wormhole snaps off behind us. The buildings still look new, but there is a dejected air about them. Already leaves and other debris has gathered in the doorways

As I suspected, our people have abandoned this Alpha site. I'm sure it's because of mine and Vala's capture but I hoped someone might still be here after six weeks. For just a moment I feel helpless, but I get Vala to her feet. "Do you think they left us anything?"

The two of us shuffle up to the main structure and start searching the drawers for something, anything, that will help. Then finally hidden underneath one of the cabinets I find the jackpot, a radio. I smile, Daniel always hid one at the Alpha Site just in case.

Vala smiles when I show her the radio.

I can't help but smile in return. "Shall we phone home and see if they'll come get us?"

Tears stream down Vala's face. "Sounds heavenly, because you owe me a bath and pancakes."

* * *

_The __gate __finishes __spinning __and __we __all __wait __to __see __what __will __happen__._

_Daniel __and __Teal__'__c __stand __on __each __side __of __me __tense __and __ready__. __The __metal __ring __finishes __its __final __rotation __after __the __kawoosh __settles __into __a __puddle __the __iris __closes __with __a __click__._

_Silence __descends __as __Mitchell __comes __to __stand __on __the __far __side __of __Teal__'__c__; __we __all __wait __creating __a __strange __tableau__._

"_SGC __this __is __Colonel __Samantha __Carter__. __Vala __Mal Doran __is __with __me__. __We__'__d __like __to __come __home__. __Please __send __someone __to __come __and __check __us __out so we can come home__."_

_Relief __runs __through __me __and __Mitchell __slaps __my __shoulder__. "__This __is __what __I__'__m __talking __about__. __I __knew __they__'__d __get __out__. __You __can__'__t __keep __Carter __or The __Princess __down__!" __He __turns __to __me__. "__I __guess __we__'__re __not __going __to __see __the __Tok__'__ra__, __no __need __now__. __Never __liked __those __guys __anyway__."_

_He __turns __and __looks __up __toward __General __Landry__. "__Sir__, __can __Teal__'__c __and __I __with__SG__-3 __go __check __this __out__? __If __everything __is __kosher __I__'__ll __send __for __the __doc__check __the __ladies __out__. __She__'__s __got __some __portable __doodad __can __make __sure __they __ain__'__t __snakes__, __thanks __to __the __Atlantis __folks__."_

_I __look __up __at __Landry__, __who __nods__. __Daniel __hands __me __a __radio __and __limps __toward __the __base __of __the__ '__gate__._

_Landry__'__s __voice __echoes __across __the __room__. "__Dr__. __Jackson__, __you __are __not __cleared __for __duty__. __I__'__ll __allow __you __to __head __off __world __when __it__'__s __determined __that __everything __is __safe__."_

_I __see __Daniel __slump __but __he __says __nothing __and __I __speak __into __the __radio__. "__Sam__, __Mitchell __and __Teal__'__c and some friends __are __coming __through__. __Danny__'__s __laid __up __with __a __bum __ankle or he'd join the party__, __he__'__ll __come __through __with __the __doc__. __They__'__ll __be __through __after __I __make __sure __everything__'__s __secure__."_

"_We__'__ll __be __here__, __Sir__."_

_There __were __sounds __of __a __scuffle __and __then __a __new __voice __came __over __the __radio__. "__This __is __Vala__. __I __want __some __cheesecake__. __Daniel __knows __the __kind __I __like__. __Make __sure someone__brings __it __or __else__. __Have __the __guys __bring __a __few __rations__. __We__'__re __down __to __bare __bones __here__."_

_The __wormhole __snapped __off __just __as __Dr__. __Lam __appears __ready __to __go, __looking __apprehensive __about __going __off __world__. __Once __the__ '__gate __is __dialed __the __others __disappear __into __the __puddle__._

_Dr__. __Lam __looks __up __at __her __father __and __I __understand __her __nervousness__. __Mitchell __comes __over __the __radio __to __give __the __all __clear __for __the __doctor __to __come __through __the__ '__gate__. __I __take __a __deep __breath__; __it __looks __like __things __will __be __all __right__._

* * *

This story is now complete on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile (I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note**: This story is now complete. I will be starting a new story in a few weeks.

* * *

Dr. Lam lowers the portable scanner. "They're clean. No Goa'ulds or any other parasites and diseases. Their blood work is clean as well. The Colonel and Vala are cleared to return to the SGC."

I sag with relief; finally we can go home. My body is shaking uncontrollably and all I want to do it lie down in a bed, any bed will do, and sleep for a week. Vala and I have been sitting in the sauna-like building for hours being poked and prodded in all sorts of locations.

Looking over at Vala, I see she looks just as relieved. Daniel hasn't left her side since he stepped through the wormhole, after we were secured by SG-3. Both Daniel and Lam waited for the two teams to confirm we were alone and there was no danger. I was surprised to see Daniel limp out of the wormhole, because we weren't usually let off world injured but Daniel assured me this was a one time thing since this was a special occasion.

Sliding off the bed, I look around the room. Jack and Cam are standing off to the side talking. My head spins a bit and I feel my legs buckle, but luckily the world levels out again. Cam and Jack are instantly at my side just in case.

Cam wraps his arm around me half-hugging me. "Ready to head back home? We've missed you; there's a whole stack of doodads waiting for you to play with. I'll just gather the troops and we can head for the gate." He stops, looking at Jack. "That is if it's all right with you."

Jack waves Cam away. "No worries, Mitchell. You're the lead on this party; I'm just here because I look good."

Cam moves away leaving Jack and I standing alone. He steps closer to me in case I need the support and I feel the need to thank him.

"I'm glad you're here, sir."

Jack shifts his feet awkwardly and looks down at his hands. "Well, how can I not, you-" He's cut off by the snap of the gate activating.

My thoughts and memories are still fuzzy, but I feel better. Drawing a breath, I head up the stairs flanked by Daniel, Jack and Teal'c. Behind us Vala and Cam rush to catch up and we all head home.

* * *

I wake up unsure once more where I am. The room is dark and I panic thinking I'm back in the cell on the unknown planet. The specter are there surrounding me. The closest one reaches out to me speaking words and sounds I can't understand.

Shrieking I back away hitting the wall, not that I have no where to go I fight with teeth and nails. The thing wails as it clutches it's hand where I bit it. I spit because of the awful taste it left in my mouth.

There are more of them now and they are stronger as they hold me down. The one I bit holds out a needle while the others try and bind me with strap attached to the bed.

Footsteps click against the floor as someone stops by my bed. "Everyone step back! I left orders for her not to be sedated!"

All the ghosts step back, merging with the shadows as someone emerges from the dark.

"Sam, you know you're in the SGC, don't you. No one is going to hurt you." Carolyn's voice cuts through my panic and her face comes into focus as she bends over me.

Gently she takes my wrist checking my pulse as though nothing had happened.

A nurse steps up beside her. "She attacked me, doctor and it's not the first time. We need to restrain her, the Colonel is a risk to the staff and herself."

I look back and forth between the two women ashamed at what I have done, I close my eyes and fight the tears. I feel so weak and helpless.

"You're relieved Nurse Jones. I'll watch over the Colonel. She seems fine now, have someone look at that bite."

Focusing on the sound of her voice helps me keep the hallucinations at bay. Carolyn isn't Janet but through all this she's become a true friend. Other nights like this she has sat at my bedside whispering reassurances and never held my frantic struggles against me. Through it all, she never made me talk; instead she waits until I was she's here; I find I can sleep without the nightmares.

After making some notes on my chart she sits down beside me and I have more strength to fight my body's cravings for the Kasa.

I clench my hands into fists as the cravings eat away at me. I want the high but I know I can't allow myself this setback. I'm almost through the worst part, now I just have to endure.

Daniel has been here a few times to talk to me about his own experiences with Machello as well as the time he suffered the sarcophagus withdrawal. The last time he was here, Daniel took my hand.

"Sam I know it all seems dark right now but there is a light at tunnel. I got through my trials and you'll get through yours. You're strong, Sam, use that strength."

Daniel words helped me see the good in what has happened. Although I hate what happened to me; this was so personal, to have my fears laid bare. They helped me discover that I do fear death and that in my heart I feel that I've let down the people who died serving with me. I have come to accept that the people I serve with will die and there is nothing I can do to prevent it. The only thing I can do is do my best and try to save as many of them as I can, but I know that sometimes I will fail. Others will die under my command no matter what I do.

Knowing that I need to think of something else, I call out, "Carolyn?"

"I'm here, Sam. How are you feeling?"

I stare down at our linked fingers for a few minutes. "Better, I just- I thought the hallucinations would be gone by now. There are times when I feel almost human again but it's going to be a long road." I stop as I look toward the door of what used to be Janet's office where she now stands. For once she's herself, not a specter. I close my eyes tightly hoping she disappears before I open my eyes. "I still miss Janet. She was there in the visions; that was the worst part. I always wondered if there was something I could have done to save her."

Needing to move I get to my feet, pacing the small area around my bed fighting the tears. Of all the things I saw Janet is the one I still have to deal with.

Carolyn comes up behind me and squeezes my shoulder before stepping back. "No, there wasn't anything you could have done. I've read the report; you were where you needed to be and she was doing her job. Janet was solider; she knew the risks. I never met her but I know she would hate that you blame yourself. It's time to stop punishing yourself and Cassie. She needs you as much as you need her. We all need our anchors and she's yours."

For just a moment, I fight the emotions surging to the surface. Then I give in letting the tears flow because I hadn't really mourned for Janet. Carolyn wraps her arms around me and lets me have my moment.

After a while I step back. "Carolyn can you get me a phone? I need to make a call, one that is long over due. If they let me out next weekend as planned I'll head up to Nevada and see Cassie. She deserves an apology for my behavior."

Carolyn smiles. "I think that's a wonderful idea. I'll be right back."

I watch Carolyn head in the direction of her office and a thought occurs to me. "Carolyn, when I get back would you like to have dinner, a girl's night out of sorts?

She smiles only this time bigger. "I'd like that a lot."

Janet is still standing in the doorway to her office. She waves once and I look around the rest of the specters are gone as well and I begin to believe that it's almost over. For the first time in forever, I'm at peace.

* * *

A few days later I wake up to find Jack sitting at my bedside sleeping. His hair and BDUs are mussed and I can tell he's been here awhile. All the guys have taken turns watching me, when they could.

Sitting up, I groan as my arm starts to prickle with pins and needles where I slept on it strangely. At the sound of my voice, Jack wakes immediately.

He looks over at me smiling. Getting to his feet he pats down his hair making it look even worse. "Carter, how are you feeling? Still no spooks?"

Turning my head, I look around expecting to find the specters standing there. After all, they have been my companions these last few weeks. But once again they are gone. I let go of the breath I didn't know I was holding.

"No, they are still gone."

Jack slaps his palms together. "That's good. Doc Lam says your blood is clean and you're good to go home now. She wants to check you over one last time before she springs ya. I'll go get her." He takes a few steps only to stop and grab my hand. "If you ever want to talk about... it let me know. I have a bit of experience with these things."

I can tell this is the last thing he wants to do, but the fact he offered is touching. Reaching out with my other hand I cover it with his. "I'll do that sir, thank you."

Watching him walk away I smile. It feels good to be home and maybe one day I'll take him up on his offer.

It's taken a long time for me to see it but now I know can get through this experience. I have everyone on my side. It won't be dealt with in a day or a week but suddenly my future seems very bright.

* * *

I have started my new story on my personal website. To find it just Google my penname. You can also follow me on facebook (you want my page not my profile (I created that and have no idea how to get rid of it, I never use it) to get updates other than here. (When I post a new story I post it there two-three weeks before I post here.) There used to be a link on my profile but it seems to have disappeared. This site won't let you post outside links in the story that's why the address isn't here.

Thank you for reading and I hope you come back again. **:0)**

**Also I have now published my second work of original fiction on kindle. It's a novella called Red Colony: Odyssey. If you search for my real name, Kelli Bullock on amazon you'll find it and my first novella.**


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